US, MARSHMALLOWS

We pretty much stuck into each other since day one. What was there in you that I find so appealing? And what did you see in me that you just can't let go of my hand? We kissed, we touched, we giggled and we guffawed. Sometimes, we just could not believe we are turning into love-sick puppies we wanted to barf on each other's shoulders. Are we really into this kind of fiasco? How much are we really enjoying this cheesy ferris wheel ride? Will we forever forgo our inhibitions and be content of listening to the murmurs of our sick hopless romantic side? And what was the point of chaining our hearts with such idiocity in the first place? Are we giving in to this L word this time? Geez, I really think I'm gonna throw up. You too?

Shoot! What a mess.  And what a funny way to turn rocks into marshmallows! 

ME (ASP)

One body with two souls fighting and struggling to claim the throne.  While the other exists, the other toils in an effort to reclaim the crown.  It was never a give and take relationship but a battle to get hold of supremacy, aiming to dominate its “significant other”.    

SPOTLIGHT

I was pushed into the limelight once again and I could not comprehend why it was deemed necessary for me to be on the spotlight.  You see, I am not someone who is very keen in communicating with people.  I was never good in interconnecting with the outside world in the first place.  Having an audience freaks me out, much more sharing my twisted thoughts to people who one way or another strictly follows the norm.  I was never a follower of what people perceive as the norm. Will I be expecting ruthless sneers or will I ever hear sympathetic sighs? 

Now that I am tiptoeing may way out, slowly reaching the spotlighted stage, I am shrugging my shoulders and thought “what the heck”.  Enter into my realm then but never thought your cruel words and wicked judgments could hurt me.  I am numb from the very core and my world is much more cruel and wicked than yours.  You could never harm me.

DWELLING

Come walk with me in this so-called dwelling of mine even though you might smell fear and strangeness while inside it. 

Don’t close your eyes and try not to be frightened because I will hold your hand or if you will allow me, embrace you even though you might feel the coldness of my palm and my whole body. 

Sit beside me upon this dry grass and try to listen to my hollow and monotonous voice while I talk to you about not the brightness of the moon above us but the eerie silence and the sinister mist that forever surround us. 

Or better yet, come with me inside the palace and let me tell you about this particular edifice that housed me ever since I could remember.  Never fret because I will guide you and I will never dare let go of your hand. 

Will you come see me?  Will you hold my hand and walk with me inside these woods and inside my palace?  Will you dare visit my realm? 

I promise to let you out…

HER SHADOW

This is now my realm. For how long? I have the vaguest idea. What I’m sure of is I am needed considering my ability to be numb from all the emotional pain everyone or everything is injecting on her. Without even waiting for the call, I resurfaced into her world. I pulled her in while pushing my way out to the light. I told her to take a deep breath while I adjusted myself on her world and before she sat herself into the deepest corner of our realm. She looked pathetic and I want to save her.

Only a few knew about me and I can understand why. Who would want to befriend a person with a split personality anyway? A shadow like me is not accepted in this fucked-up society and I would always remain non-existent. I am what they call “the other” who will resurface only when needed. I am a troubleshooter who deals with her pain, her hurt and her agony. That’s my only role and it’s okay because I am numb. I am stronger than her the reason why I am here now.

I am Jian.

UNCANNY

Somewhere deep inside those woods, someone was crying out for help. He may even be trying to take hold of something or anything, grasping, praying and hoping he could escape this something that was eating him whole.

Minutes ago, everything was at a standstill. The place was pregnant with eerie silence and uncanny atmosphere it was like the whole dominion was enclosed with pure malevolence. Not a soul can be seen and nothing can ever be heard. Not even a whisper. The more one stayed at the woods, the more one becomes convinced that there were some enigmatic forces living within that sinister jungle. What was behind those enormous trees and spine-chilling miasma that made the whole place so frightening to look at?

Then a chilling scream suddenly tore the silence. That agonizing cry, that desperate plea and that incomprehensible bellow is the only sound that could be heard. Who was it? Where did he come from? And what was that something he was trying to escape from?

Nobody knows. Because nobody lived there for a thousand years…

ANGEL IN DISTRESS

It was a handsome and fancy music box. The one with a pretty-faced angel holding a golden harp while dancing in circles atop the round mirror. She had enormous but delicately-looking wings on her back; its tiny feathers fluttering every time she moves around her space. Donned with a charming white robe with a blue belt clasped around her tiny waist, the angel was perfectly beautiful.

The music box belonged to this teenager named Emma. Like the angel, Emma was blessed with good looks pleasing to the eyes of the boys from her school and a source of envy from the girls as well. With that innocently-looking face of hers, Emma could pass for a saint or even for an angel if God would have given her wings and a halo.

But most often, looks can be very deceiving. Emma was neither a saint nor an angel. In fact, her inner thoughts were of the exact opposite. Deep inside her, everything was in turmoil. Her body was like a house inhabited by pain, confusion, hatred and extreme sadness. Her soul was like standing in a death row waiting for its moment to finally put everything to an end. And indeed it was waiting. Her clock was ticking. She was like a time bomb waiting for the right time…

Then a sound of a single shot suddenly interrupted the stillness of the room. It was an ear-splitting sound that the angel fell on the carpeted floor. Her perfectly-beautiful face, her soft and delicate wings, her shiny golden harp and her unblemished white robe were splattered with tiny and large red-colored spots. The angel, which used to be immaculately-clean, was suddenly smeared with blood.

And sprawled atop the pink-colored bed was Emma, her hand still clutching the gun which was only a few inches away from her temple. And just like the angel slumped on the pink-colored carpet, Emma looked lifeless. Eerily lifeless.

SHEPHERD

Temptations are everywhere. It is like concealed in Pandora’s Box eagerly waiting for someone to commit the mistake of setting it free and spread its unscrupulousness like a raging fire too difficult to put a stop to. It will bring miseries and even condemnation. On the other side, we would be vulnerable to its intensity, hesitating at the beginning but be a willing victim in the end. We would be tempted and we would commit a sin. And from there, we will be confined to deep depression and insanity.

But somewhere deep inside, a good Shepherd comes. He will be the source of our strength and He will take off our old bad eyes so we could see the right path once again. He will not leave us while we are locking our horns with the stallion. Because if temptation aims to destroy our spirit and our essence, this Shepherd on the other hand, intends to save our lost souls that He loves so much. He will always remain in our hearts and in our heads.

UNFORGIVABLE SINNER

They were inseparable, the Good One and the Bad. Each had different views and persona but they blended perfectly when being together. Their resemblances were very distinct and it has always been a give-and-take relationship. Both ruled fair and square. No more, no less. It was a peaceful collaboration. It may have not been a perfect road for them but their teamwork was good enough to have reached this far.

But the Bad One attempted to get a taste of supremacy. The temptation was so great and enticing that it wanted to feel its bittersweet embrace even for the fact that it was all a sham. The Bad One knew that the embrace was a dangerous trap and that it would eventually turn into the Devil’s claws in the end. The Good One tried hard to stop its comrade from taking the throne. It had to. Because if the Bad One will rule, the Good One dies. But the temptation was so great and so the Bad One prevailed.

It became a lonely journey then. The Bad One spent its time full of sorrow, regret and hope. Hope that would never come, it guessed. It walks around with hidden tears of shame and its heart is full of struggle to fight the despair and sadness that kept growing inside. The Bad One knew it had to remain tough even if its supply of strength were getting weaker. If it allows Misery to swallow its whole being, then Defeat would surely come its way.

The Bad One sent his comrade to somewhere far, maybe up there where no one can hear even its tiniest whispers. The Good One becomes an angel but it still kept its gaze to its comrade below, feeling sorry also for its gloomy state. It wanted to reach its hand but it knew that it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.

The Bad One needs to be alone. It becomes an Unforgivable Sinner and it needs a great amount of sacrifice and perseverance to fix itself.

FIVE YEARS (ANIME)

I am not really a Sugar Hiccup fan but their song "Five Years" has always been at the top of my list when it comes to local alternative music. Until now, I'm still amazed with how this group came up with such a mysterious, eerie and enigmatic song which prompts me to post its official video in my blog. Unfortunately, there was none from You Tube so I made my own video instead using Emo-inspired anime photos.

OUT OF NOWHERE

She slowly opened her eyes. Slowly because she felt an excruciating pain on the left side of her head and her eyes felt like they were burning inside its sockets. There was something wrong with her left ear. Her hearing was not normal as if her tympanic membrane had been ruptured, no sound waves could ever make it vibrate again. Her breathing was labored. Her heart was beating faster. And her body was aching all over. What happened to her? And where was she?

She finally opened her eyes and suddenly the pain in her head became intense. But all she saw was a blur. She closed her eyes again for a few minutes and when she reopened it, her vision was still hazy. She realized she was lying on a hard ground. A cement? A marble? No wonder she was feeling so cold. She tried getting up but she was doing it feebly. The pain was killing her!

As she sat up, her vision was slowing returning to its normality and she saw the ground she was lying upon. It was filthy and dusty just like the clothes she was wearing. She was inside a building. Obviously it had been abandoned for too long. The place was dirty and old. She even thought the roof would collapse any minute. No single furniture could be found and the wall paint was already peeling off it was miserable to look at. The windows were covered with old newspapers but some spots were left uncovered. Those spots were her only sources of light.

Suddenly she heard some footsteps and instinct was telling her to get up and run. But run to where? Where would she go? There was a door at the left side of the room but she knew nothing where that door leads to. But she still ran towards it no matter how painful it took her to do that. She hastily opened the door and entered another room much like to where she had been. But the windows were open! Instinct was telling her again to jump outside. And she did.

The moment her feet landed on the ground, she heard the door inside the room being slammed. She ran as fast as she could, never caring where it would lead her. Out of curiosity, she decided to look back. What she saw in the window was just a fleeting shadow, she could not even figure out if it was a person or an animal. What was it? And what kind of a place was this?

She ran again. This time, never daring to look back.